Ranking Hellraiser

With the release of the new Hellraiser film I wanted to watch and rank all the films as Hellraiser is one of my favorite horror franchises. In this ranking I’m joined by friend and fellow blogger Cody from https://bloggingwiththecode.wordpress.com. He’s also a big Hellraiser fan like myself so, instead of having clashing rankings I’ve made a new system for ranking, with a point system, each of us rating the films out of 10 and adding them together giving us the highest score possible being a 20/20 and lowest a 2/20.

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11. Hellraiser: Revelations

Cody: By far, the absolute worst Hellraiser movie that I’ve ever witnessed towards the inner explorative lore of this entire series’ Phenomenon. You can practically tell this was an ill-conceived plan by Dimensional Films just for securing the intellectual rights for Hellraiser. The twist doesn’t work very well as the erotically-painful jab over what Frank Cotton worked to do so from the first-ever Hellraiser movie out of this movie series. The acting performances by this cast…even by our main villain’s recast seem so abysmally awful since he barely even brought something close to the original adaptation of Clive Barker’s novella in The Hellbound Heart. The gratuitous nudity was a little overboard throughout the entirety of Revelations, because it didn’t really need it throughout its whole runtime. I can certainly inspect as to why Doug Bradley downright rejected this script as a breaking point of finally hanging up his nails for good due to the hectic nightmare from what I endured during my session of watching this Cinematic Mess. Bottom of the rankings for great reasons. One out of Ten.

Me: I thought the last three films (Hellseeker, Deader, Hellworld) bad but this film is beyond irredeemable and is by far the worst Hellraiser film I’ve seen. Everything in this film is bad from the poor acting, terrible plot, cheap looking sets & cinematography, and fat Pinhead whose acting was probably the worst out of them all. There’s no point ruining down the plot as it’s essentially a bad version of the first film with two teenage boys in a Frank Cotton type role. I don’t blame Doug Bradley for turning it down, he said it was the worst piece of crap that he ever read, when speaking to Weinstein Entertainment about how terrible it was they said to him “We don’t give a crap how terrible this movie was, we need one more in the can to secure the franchise for the reboot” Now if that isn’t telling enough I don’t know what is, I don’t know how anyone could like this film.

Cody’s Rating: 1/10

My Rating: 1/10

Total Rating: 2/20

10. Hellraiser: Hellseeker

Cody: This is just a total snoozefest in my brutally honest opinion. Instead of a genuine coolness around the mystique of the previous films, it’s rather a spin on Frank Cotton’s Hell where he has many women tease him for eternity…but alas, there is a much more sinister tone amidst the surroundings. For this sequel, we finally get the long-awaited return of Kirsty Cotton who has grown up after many years following a tragic Car Accident into the river while our main lead follows her husband that’s played by Dean Winters. I have to be blunt with you that I am not a huge fan of the Womanizer Lover trope due to the fact it personally hits close to Home about my father. Although I knew he wasn’t as awful as these two characters, I found myself uncomfortable at times throughout this whole runtime when they showed how much he slept with another woman behind Kirsty’s backside during the marital relationship. I must admit that there were a handful of bright spots which defers it from the trainwreck of Revelations. Take in point, the Symbiotic Good Cop/Bad Cop pairing that investigated Kirsty’s Husband during this entire film, more so with the black cop that’s played by William S. Taylor. Of course, Pinhead was the only other highlight given across this film’s duration, but besides those two Points of Interest, it was a total slog to watch through this movie’s expectations for an enjoyable sequel towards the legacy of Hellraiser. I’d primarily give this film a 1 and ½ out of 10.

Me: After the decent sequel with Inferno I was expecting this film to be just as good if not a little better but boy was I wrong. This was not a good film, in this film we follow an unlikable Trevor played by Dean Winters of 30 Rock fame, as a womanizer while he’s married to the returning Kirsty as they have a tragic car accident that Trevor somehow survives. After this you see his womanizing ways and the illusion tropes similar to the last film but turns out all this never happened with another Jacob’s Ladder style twist as you find out he died in the car accident while Kirsty survived. That’s not all though as they managed to ruin the Kirsty character as she made a deal with Pinhead and wanted him dead along with four others that knew Trevor. That being said there were some positives about this film as I liked that this film acknowledged the first two films with references to Larry and Frank Cotton, the new & interesting looking Cenobites and of course, Pinhead despite how little he was in the film. With those points it’s a 2 out of 10 for me as the rest of the film is pretty boring and not worth your time unless you’re marathoning them. On a side note, in my personal head-canon I’d like to think Trevor’s still suffering as now he’s “Mayhem” in Allstate Insurance commercials. 😂

Cody’s Rating: 1.5/10

My Rating: 2/10

Total Rating: 3.5/20

9. Hellraiser: Deader

Cody: I must admit to sense that the cult-themed aspect from the movie’s premise seemed quite interesting for what it’s worth at this moment of the series. However, the execution from these performances don’t bring the plot justice than its predecessors even by the antagonist’s tie-in as a descendant from the prior establishment in the Lemarchand bloodline who turns out to be the cult’s leader. We follow a reporter by the name of Amy who travels towards Romania for these clues about a woman she saw in that tape her boss showcased inside his office on a great story to tell for their news’ headlines. Although she was quite serviceable in this film, I was more unexpectedly amazed to see my favorite minor Cenobite, Chatterer, return for Deader. It just primarily sucks that this could’ve been quite the great catch on a sequel, but the execution and lackluster cinematography felt heavier than the earliest Direct-to-Video sequels like the case for Inferno. Just like the case for this next preceding sequel, it was a great concept into the deeper lore of this phenomenon for Hellraiser fans but a bland failure in the execution of a Cinematic Performance. I’d give this movie about a 2 and ½ out of 10.

Me: I enjoyed this film a little more than the last but that’s not saying much, as this was also a boring film. It had a great premise with the Deaders cult but the execution was poor, with a bigger budget and better writing this could’ve been good, but sadly it wasn’t. In this film, we follow reporter Amy Klein played by Kari Wuhrer of Eight Legged Freaks fame, as she uncovers the Deader cult with the leader, Winter, turning out to be a descendant of the Merchant bloodline from Bloodline. Like the last film besides the kinda cool connection to Bloodline and Pinhead there’s nothing to noteworthy by the film and by this point it’s just by the numbers Direct-to-video schlock. It’s a shame it was so lackluster as I really liked the cult premise for Hellraiser, but it was stuck in a bland and boring film, with that it’s a 2.5 out of 10 for me.

Cody’s Rating: 2.5/10

My Rating: 2.5/10

Total Rating: 5/20

8. Hellraiser: Hellworld

Cody: Once again, Hellworld fails miserably on a pretty entertaining Modern Twist of Hellraiser’s Lore Expansion by what they took as the Hellraisers who were pretty much all the partygoers which solved The Lament Configuration’s puzzle on its digital website. From this sequel, we follow a female protagonist named Chelsea accompanied by her band of friends while the two males are played by a younger Henry Cavill and Khary Payton who’d go on to be casted in their respective futures as Superman and Cyborg. Additionally, we oversaw the party’s host, who was the father of Pinhead’s last known victim by exacting a psychological revenge since she knew they were the cause of his son’s tragic passing in the past. The host was played by Lance Hendriksen who actually went on to be casted as Carl Manfred in Detroit Become Human and Jedediah Hackett in the recent horror game, The Quarry. To wrap it up by Doug Bradley reprising his role for the final appearance as Pinhead, you’d think it could be as great as the other first three movies going into this thriller/horror movie series, right? Well, they don’t exactly live up to the arrival of Expectations ahead of your mind when the twist comes in that they were buried alive this entire time while the true torture occurred on their minds by the Fear and Hysteria suffered throughout the party’s whole duration. Even though these actors were truly great in the moment, the only memorable performance was by the main attraction within my most honest opinion. It wasn’t a bad film to watch on one night, but it certainly didn’t live up to the spectacle that its predecessors brought to the Smorgasbord of Indescribable Pleasures. I’d personally give them a reasonable 3 out of 10.

Me: Bota goes meta with his third and final film directed by him, after his previous two efforts with Hellseeker and Deader you’d expect something better and learn from the mistakes but you’d be wrong. In this film we follow five friends Chelsea, Allison, Jake, Derrick, and Mike, the latter two being a young Khary Payton and Henry Cavill, the future voice of Cyborg & Walking Dead’s Ezekiel and the future Superman & Geralt of Rivia in Netflix’s The Witcher series. In this movie Hellraiser is recognized as a film franchise and has its own MMORPG with them winning an invitation to a Hellworld party hosted by “The Host” played by legendary actor Lance Henriksen we all know from Aliens as Bishop. As expected, it follows all the by the numbers schlock even with the by now predictable they’re all imaging the party and illusions as they’re all really suffering or dead 🙄 In an okay twist they actually buried alive by “The Host” who turned out to be the father of their friend who died which he blames his death for, who gets his comeuppance as Jake and Chelsea escape days later while Henriksen hides away only to open up the real box and die while Jake and Chelsea move on and continue their lives. Although it’s not very good, I enjoyed this film a little more than the last two although the only bright-spots being seeing a young Henry Cavill and Khary Payton. At this point I feel sorry for Lance Henriksen and Doug Bradley as they’re sadly stuck in badly rated or Direct-to-video films in their careers, which visibly shows as they’re phoning it in especially Doug Bradly. I also am not a fan of a lot of meta horror films as there’s very little I liked so this just goes right on that list with I Know What You Did Last Summer, Urban Legend, Valentine, etc. With that being said it’s a very low enthusiastic 3 out of 10 for me, ever so slightly beating the last two lackluster sequels.

Cody’s Rating: 3/10

My Rating: 3/10

Total Rating: 6/20

7. Hellraiser: Bloodline

Cody: Ah yes, the curious case of Hellraiser: Bloodline. Originally, this movie was set to be a trilogy arc with a movie as its Origin Story surrounding The Toy Maker aka Phillip Lemarchand which was set within a more medieval-themed environment. Additionally, I perceive the other two would’ve been the follow-up ending cutscene where the Lament Configuration has been taken under construction by Lemarchand’s greatest descendant before the final film perhaps could have transpired in Outer Space. However, to not plan in advance, Bloodline was chopped to an absolute confusion for audiences at this point of the series when you consider it’s the final Theatrical Film of the Hellraiser before Dimension Film Studios decisively brought the series as a Direct-to-Video Sequel on its existence. If they played their cards rightfully, this might’ve been much more entertaining than Hell on Earth, but however, they had the future descendant of Lemarchand tell two predecessors over their encounters with Pinhead, Angelique, and The Lament Configuration’s Aftermath. While the premise might have brought a whole lot of Lore Exploration at a much greater usage similarly like what Zack Snyder displayed with his theatrical cut of Justice League, it is abundantly visible as to why the crew rushed to meet the deadline by telling three different yet linear plots into a confusing path rather than providing a consistent story progression had they weren’t able to go into The Trilogy Idea. Pinhead is quite frankly the only other highlight of this whole movie and it’s quite cool to see an appearance by Kim Myers who survived the second Nightmare on Elm Street movie. Additionally, I didn’t mind the Chatterer Beast either, but aside from them, I felt indifferent to the disingenuous mess they shot themselves figuratively in the foot for not allowing them to provide the lore much more enjoyable than they had it within this theatrical version of Bloodline. They at least had brought something uniquely different to the table with their Cenobites. I’d recommend it more as a solid five out of ten. But if we were to have seen a better Linear Path of Bloodline’s Original Vision off the first script, I would’ve placed this inside the Top Five Movies from the Hellraiser franchise.

Me: What a mess of a movie this was, like Cody said it was originally planned to be a trilogy but those plans fell through. Instead, we got it in one movie which could’ve worked as the workprint of the movie had it played out chronologically and had a more linear story, but with a troubled history behind the scenes original director Kevin Yagher leaving after completing the film. Miramax would demand new scenes, re-shoots, changes to character relationships, a happy ending, and introducing Pinhead earlier with Joe Chappelle. That being said the film would be credited under the infamous Alan Smithee pseudonym really solidifying this film was doomed as it would be a flop by only grossing $9 million killing Hellraiser theatrical run leading it to Direct-to-video territory. On the brighter note, I did enjoy a few things from this film mostly Pinhead as he was the best part of it but, I also liked Angelique, the twin Cenobites, and a young Adam Scott of Step Brothers and Parks & Recreations fame. It’s a shame the original version was cut so much as I would’ve loved to see the cut Aristocrat Cenobites and Yagher’s true vision, it’ll never happen but, I would love a director’s cut of this film. If you want a better version of “Hellraiser in Space” I recommend watching Paul W.S. Anderson’s Event Horizon, it hits some similar Hellraiser beats and is way more memorable and entertaining.

Cody’s Rating: 5.5/10

My Rating: 4/10

Total Rating: 9.5/20

6. Hellraiser: Judgment

Cody: Although this film has mixed reviews by many fanatics of the series this late into the entry, I thought it was an effectively decent sequel towards the legacy of Hellraiser despite Bradley not reprising his expertise in the performance as Pinhead. On the bright side, this was a heavy step much better than that previous Poor Man’s Imitation of this classic Thriller Icon of Horror Movies. Even if he wasn’t anywhere as special as Bradley’s legendary presence, it was a decent follow-up to what Taylor brought upon his return from this franchise. I don’t know about any of you viewers, but I am a sucker for a very great Detective Story with some substantial amount of interest from Appearance to Performance. We follow a brother Cop Team led by Detectives Sean and David Carter shortly before they join forces together with the detective Christine Edgerton. Soon enough, things spiral out of control as I leave the rest of this movie’s synopsis and drama for you to discover in your own spare time. I have to proclaim that The Auditor was an interesting bold idea especially by the director who took on this role in the first place. Plus, I was mildly intrigued at certain points off of The Verdict idea set after you’re examined by The Assessor before a cleaning at their disposal. I will admit that there was the skeptical ending which ruined the mystique of Pinhead by converting him back into his human self while the film should’ve just ended with Pinhead and The Auditor walking into their crevices or right after the defeat of the female cenobite from this movie. Nonetheless, if I had to rank it above the others amongst this list of sequels following the original Hellraiser movie, it would be near the Top Five Films of the whole series. In terms of an actual rating, I’d certainly give the movie a nice 6 out of 10.

Me: This was an interesting film to say the least, it was better than the last four films in the franchise and had some interesting ideas with The Auditor, The Assessor, and The Butcher and I loved Nightmare on Elm Street final girl Heather Langenkamp makes an appearance also loved the use of Beethoven’s Für Elise throughout the film. That being said, it follows your usual detective story as they hunt for The Preceptor with Pinhead and the Cenobites is kinda playing second fiddle. That being said, I had a lot of problems with this film as Gary J. Tunnicliffe not only directs and writes the film but puts himself in the film as the Auditor, really stroking his ego. He also completely ignores the lore that the franchise built up, that even the last few of the franchise knew to follow, instead he turned this into a biblical Heaven vs Hell nonsense with even an angel in all white with glowing white around her even appearing. 🙄 In case you don’t know Pinhead’s Hell isn’t the same as biblical Hell. Pinhead also isn’t summoned anymore by the Lament Configuration now he’s sitting in the chair looking board most of the time, played decently by Paul T. Taylor, but him and the rest of the Cenobites are living in an abandoned house, it’s also goes for weird gross-out gore and visuals that just doesn’t work for this franchise. I remember hearing about this film when it came out, and I know it got mixed reviews but, I always wanted to see it and haven’t until now but, it really disappointed me, and I was expecting more especially after the last four films so, it’s a 4 out of 10 for me, it could’ve been something special if it followed the lore of the franchise and not go full-blown with the biblical nonsense.

Cody’s Rating: 6/10

My Rating: 4/10

Total Rating: 10/20

5. Hellraiser (2022)

Cody: This reboot movie shocked the hell out of me after my exposure with the previous lackluster sequels once Bloodline tanked in the Final Theatrical appearance of Hellraiser. For starters, I was really invested behind the inner mystique around The Box Configurations like the crew behind the scenes decisively expanded upon what Bloodline brought through the origins of The Lament Configuration. To provide a glimpse of the different boxes, there are a total of six different Puzzle Boxes in the discovered findings within this abandoned mansion: Lament (Life), Lore (Knowledge), Lauderent (Love), Luminal (Sensation), Lazarus (Resurrection), and Leviathan (Power). I found myself deeply immersed in figuring about these mysterious boxes which intrigue what explorations can be brought to anyone who sought to obtain these particular configurations within their own hands. Plus, I thought the collector across the film was pretty decent in his performance, but The Priestess Pinhead seemed pretty cool on first impressions. Even though it clearly did not do justice similarly to Doug Bradley’s previous performances, they bestowed a serviceably enjoyable voice modification with the unique actress beneath the role. I also found The Gasp as a cool secondary Cenobite from her performance in the runtime with what was given by the actress. On the down side, the other Cenobites (other than Chatterer) felt a bit skeptical and slightly speechless since I honestly expected an adaptation of Butterball to appear within this rebooted film from my perspective. Not just from that note, I’m not quite certain of my true excitement with ones such as the Masque and The Asphyx which leaves me to a middle road over The Weeper. I’ll leave the rest of his observation over the actual cenobite, but while I did think it seemed pretty grotesquely horrifying from certain angles, it didn’t seem cooler of a memorable cenobite than I still have a soft spot for the original lineup in my humblest opinion. Now, what about the actual Human Actors and Actresses? They were…fine. They weren’t totally bad, but there was nothing phenomenal about their acting moments throughout this film. If I had to say one that stood out a little amount from the others, I’d have to say Riley. And now, back to the ranking of this reboot, I give it a splendid 6 and ¼ out of 10. It’s got some great mystique about itself a lot better than these other Direct-to-Video sequels overseen by Dimensional Film Studios with a pretty entertaining performance from the Priestess Pinhead and Gasp cenobites. Therefore, it has earned its spot in the Number Five place above Judgment.

Me: I went into this film with an open mind, took Doug Bradley’s praise of Jamie Clayton as the new Pinhead in high regard, and was a little excited to see the new take on Hellraiser. Sadly, I was kinda disappointed with this film as it was rather a bit tame for Hellraiser standards, bland, and boring. I was expecting a bit more than what we got, what we got was pretty much Thirteen Ghost meets Hellraiser with every character being very unmemorable and unlikable. It’s better than a lot of the Direct-to-video sequels but that’s not saying much as that is a very low bar. That being said, there was a few things I liked as I thought Pinhead/The Priest & The Gasp Cenobites were interesting and had a unique look to them, I also loved the ever-changing Puzzle Box Configuration. Overall, I thought this remake was a mediocre and unnecessary but still better than most Direct-to-video sequels/reboots we’ve seen, so it’s a 4 1/2 out of 10 for me, it had so much potential but ended up being such a bland cliche of a horror film, but I shouldn’t of been surprised as Hellraiser, disappointing, and failed potential have been synonymous with each other for years now.

Cody’s Rating: 6.25/10

My Rating: 4.5/10

Total Rating: 10.75/20

4. Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth

Cody: Directly after Hellbound, we were following a report named Joey Summerskill who aims to find a very intriguing story until she discovers a body carried into the hospital which was inevitably wrapped and tightly bound by chains with a glow around them. This obviously brings into a club owner known as JP Monroe which bought The Pillar of Souls from an abandoned store by a mystic seller. The plot is very intriguing about Pinhead’s human specter, Captain Elliot Spencer, contacts Joey about banishing the Cenobite back inside the Puzzle Box once she figured how to open its contraption. Meanwhile, she encountered five certain Cenobites which were made by Pinhead’s Handmade Vision: CD, Barbie, Camerahead, Pistonhead, and Dreamer. While the vast majority of them are pretty lame to my honest opinion, Dreamer and Barbie were my better favorites out of the bunch especially in Dreamer’s case since I actually felt for Terri once she got encountered by Pinhead about having a wilder dream than she anticipated through the Lead Cenobite’s vision. Plus, Joey had a pretty likable performance with Hell on Earth’s reception at this point on the runtime. I also have to give a lot of credit for Motorhead as the primary song on the soundtrack of Hellraiser III which heightens the spectacle behind its Theatrical feeling on a grander scale, well from my perspective of this fantastic song. I have to give Hell on Earth with one other weak point…the effects on Pinhead during the final climax. My goodness, it is so bafflingly awful that I legit have no words except it was passable for its time period so I can’t fault them on effort. If I would rate this movie based on Performance, Closeness to The Source Material, and an Enjoyable Sequel to the Hellraiser legacy, I’d give Hell on Earth a solid Seven out of Ten. While it isn’t an excellent level of fondness like the first two movies, it was pretty great of a theatrical sequel for the fun of its story, entertaining characters, and Pinhead’s Internal Struggle.

Me: This would be the first Hellraiser movie to be filmed outside the United Kingdom as it was the first Hollywood production for the series being filmed in the United States and released through Miramax under the Dimension Films banner. It would also have more success than the previous film as it grossed $12.5 million in the US making Hellraiser and Pinhead a household name. This film really changed up the Hellraiser formula as we follow reporter Joey Summerskill, played wonderfully by Terry Farrell of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine fame, as she follows the events of an incident at a hospital with some help from Terri she finds her way to the Boiler Room club with JP Monroe and the Pillar of Souls. I really loved the Antichrist symbolism throughout the film as a finally pure evil version of Pinhead separating from his human Elliot Spencer side completely as he mocks Christianity with his great “I am the way” line, and I loved the huge club massacre. I also loved some of the new Cenobites like Barbie and Dreamer, but I do miss the Chatterer and Butterball, it also has a great soundtrack with Motörhead which I highly recommend watching the music video. It’s a shame we didn’t continue following Joey as she was one of my favorite things about this film, and I felt she could’ve had a few more outings in the franchise, but I’m happy with what we got with her. This film does have quite a few negatives for me though like the new Cenobites such as CD, Camerahead, and Pistonhead, although I really do like this film it feels a bit out of place at times as the first two films have a more serious tone this feels a bit wacky almost Freddy Krueger/Nightmare on Elm Street levels at times, so while it expands on many things it also changes the tone a bit on things although it’s probably my last favorite theatrical sequel for the franchise.

Cody’s Rating: 7/10

My Rating: 6/10

Total Rating: 13/20

3. Hellraiser: Inferno

Cody: I have to validate that Craig Sheffer is highly underrated and underappreciated throughout the whole runtime of this movie’s plot as he’s a Corrupt Cop which discovers The Lament Configuration at this crime scene from the victim that he used to know vaguely from his high school days. I also thought Nicholas Turturro was pretty enjoyable at points in the film, more apparent around the Police Officers’ Headquarters whenever they lighten up at their workplace. Aside from those two notes of interest, the psychological cinematography which showcases Sheffer’s Inner Turmoil ranging from the dead hooker toward the hallucinogenic moments about these two seductive Cenobites before an interesting return of Chatterer. While most of these Direct-to-Video Sequels do seem to have an apparent level of cheapness where Pinhead was thrown at the last minute, Inferno did still tell a genuinely interesting Psychological Torture vibe about our main lead which showcases how much tension he’s caused in his own life ever since our Corrupt Detective touched his fingers on that Puzzle Box. This movie sequel to the legacy of Hellraiser has an intriguing background story as the next follow-up after Hellraiser: Bloodline was intentionally aimed to be a successor with Kirsty Cotton returning to confront against a cult seeking to resurrect Leviathan and The Cenobites into the real world inside of London, England. While this movie (named as Hellfire) never saw the light of Day, Inferno is a surprisingly enjoyable flick which has elements of Film Noir and Surrealism into this Hellraiser sequel. I grant it a very solid 6 and ½ out of 10.

Me: Contrary to popular belief, this wasn’t a spec script just turned into a Hellraiser sequel as writer and director Scott Derrickson pitched it as a Hellraiser sequel. In this film we follow corrupt Denver Detective Joseph Thorne, played by Craig Sheffer, who regularly indulges in drug use and adultery, in the meantime he finds the Lement Configuration at a ritualistic murder leading him to solve the puzzle. Soon he begins to have hallucinations as well as find out the murders that keep happening to a killer known as “The Engineer”. While undergoing therapy for his hallucinations, his therapist reveals himself to be Pinhead, Pinhead then reveals he’s been in his own personal Hell since opening the Lement Configuration and will suffer for eternity for his sins. I really liked this film especially after the mess of Bloodlines, it’s just a shame it was a Direct-to-video sequel as with a bigger budget it could’ve easily been a great theatrical release. I loved it was a different take on the Hellraiser franchise as it was a psychological film noir horror, I also loved the new twin and chatterer/torso Cenobites, the only negatives I have with the film was the budget clearly shows as it has a soap-opera type feel to it and at time the acting can be poor but, I really enjoyed this film. It really does wear it’s inspiration on its sleeve though as its clearly inspired by Jacob’s Ladder both visually and in some plot points.

Cody’s Rating: 6.5/10

My Rating: 7/10

Total Rating: 13.5/20

2. Hellraiser (1987)

Cody: Nothing beats the classics. Friday the 13th. Nightmare on Elm Street. Texas Chainsaw Massacre. And, to add on top of that list, the first hit film which was seen by audiences during the year of 1987 got to watch the grotesque horror and spectacle Clive Barker firstly brought to the table through this whole series. The Order of The Gash. The Lament Configuration. Pain and Pleasure. These three things vaguely share a common thing between those three topics: The Cotton Family. From this film’s synopsis, Frank Cotton is the unfortunate soul who sought to discover the Unknown Conceivable Realm of Pleasure and Pain which oppose each other through The Cenobites’ fate the moment you figure out how to open a door into unfathomable desires…and much more to the fragile Human Mind. After a long-lost lust on her wedding celebration, Julia Cotton goes behind her husband’s back to resurrect Frank from the dead so he could perhaps slip from The Cenobites’ Hunt after him. Meanwhile, Kirsty (the daughter of Larry and step-daughter to Julia) comes home to discover something’s not right after their move from New York as she actually discovered The Cenobites (and Pinhead) through Curiosity. I give props for this movie’s Bizarre Exploration of this subtle afterlife which is a twist on what humans perceive as their own scornful pleasures into indescribable Endless Suffering beyond recognition. Not to mention, this soundtrack is atmospherically great for its time which amplifies just how excellently well-done Barker put so much into the original film. I’d give the first Hellraiser by a solid 8 out of 10. A bit cheesy at times, but hey, it’s not too overboard with it like other installments on this list. Plus, the debut masterpiece and memorable characters prove it to be an iconic watchable flick for the Spookiest Month of Them All: Halloween.

Me: Being written and directed by Clive Barker himself really helped this movie stay pretty faithful to the novella it’s based on, The Hellbound Heart. With the success of this film would only launch the franchise and help Hellraiser become a classic with the likes of Friday the 13th, Halloween, Nightmare on Elm Street, and Texas Chainsaw Massacre like Cody said. The Hell Priest (Pinhead) and the Cenobites known as The Order of The Gash, Lament Configuration, the Vagrant (Derelict, The Puzzle Guardian), and pain & pleasure all become a constant in the franchise. However, this first movie also has some memorable characters with the Cotton family as the cenobites play a more subtle role and aren’t quite the main villain they’d soon become, instead we have Frank Cotton in that role being a sleazy evil antagonist, his brother Larry whom is a bit oblivious throughout the film until his death, Larry’s wife Julia who’s cheated on him for the love and lust of Frank, and finally our protagonist Kirsty who’s wrapped up in all of this. There isn’t much else I can really say about this film, but it had a great atmospherical soundtrack, as well as some memorable lines like “We have such sites to show you”, “What is your pleasure, sir?”, “No tears please, it’s a waste of good suffering”, “Come to daddy”, and the most memorable moment to me “Jesus wept”. It’s not a masterpiece as its cheesy at times and some effects don’t hold up like those yellow lighting effects, but it’s forever memorable and made Hellraiser a household name in horror and made Pinhead a Horror Icon like Michael Myers, Jason Voorhees, Freddy Krueger, and Leatherface.

Cody’s Rating: 8/10

My Rating: 8/10

Total Rating: 16/20

1. Hellbound: Hellraiser II

Cody: This movie is certainly a real treat to explore beyond the foundation for what the original film had to provide after The Lament Configuration and The Order of The Gash. In this sequel, Kirsty Cotton is sent towards a mental ward which is overseen by Doctor Channard and his assistant Kyle after an investigator wishes to interrogate how and what occurred with those bodies found at The Cotton Household. In contrast to the gritty tone of the first film due to its erotic nature through Frank and Julia Cotton (who were a great Diabolical Couple in my opinion), it’s quite fascinating to watch this film spiral into a thriller expansion from Leviathan’s Introduction towards the endless, spacious landscape they showcased whenever Channard confiscated that bloody mattress which last saw the body of Julia’s remains before being resurrected by an unfortunate patient at this asylum. Due to his wild curiosity, Doctor Channard wished to see and know the Unknown Pleasures awaiting his mind once Julia guided him there over a grand tour only to be transformed horrifically in this Constructed Torture Box. Meanwhile, we see Kirsty on an escape guided by Kyle who sadly mistook Julia for a woman at Channard’s residence immediately before Kirsty joins together with the blonde girl she saw earlier from the mental institution. Chaos ensues as The Cenobites are awoken from Julia and Channard’s Desires right before Kirsty and the little blonde girl discover their repressed memories, sighting a malicious return of Frank Cotton in both depictions (His Human form and his fleshy form after a burn caused by Kirsty). The primary reason why I placed this sequel a lot better than the classic original movie was because it expanded upon a fantastic environment of how endlessly cold this hellacious place can become for themselves through The Order of The Gash, plus the solved mystique about what these cenobites really looked like before their grotesque transformations. I give this movie a solid 8 and ½ out of 10 as I definitely recommend watching this film especially after the original hit.

Me: Building on the foundation of the first film, Hellbound is bigger, badder, and better thanks to the bigger budget. This sequel follows the aftermath to the original following Kirsty whose now in the Channard Institute Psychiatric Hospital under the supervision of Dr. Channard who’s secretly obsessed with the Lament Configuration, now in a reverse role we find out Julia is in the same position as Frank was in the first film, and we see Channard lusting over Julia. In the meantime, we find out about Pinheads backstory finding out he was once a human known as Elliot Spencer, a British military officer. That being said it pretty much follows the same plot as the original but like I said earlier it’s bigger and better as it expands on the foundation of the first film, as we got to see Hell and Leviathan itself. I really like this film even a little more than the first I especially love the Dr. Channard Cenobite as the main protagonist along with Julia. The only nitpicks I have with the film is they turned The Order of The Gash into more anti-heroes and eventually heroes it seemed towards the end when they’re going against Dr. Channard which just didn’t work for me as they were more neutral in the first film, they also really tried making us feel sympathetic to the Cenobites specifically with Pinhead as Elliot Spencer which just didn’t work after their portal in the previous film. Besides that, I really liked this film, and it’s one of my favorites from the Hellraiser franchise, it’s an 8 and 1/2 for me as well.

Cody’s Rating: 8.5/10

My Rating: 8.5/10

Total Rating: 17/20

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I’ve had a lot of fun doing this and hopefully plan on doing more of these rankings in the future, as well as being more active owning this site for two years now. Don’t expect regular uploads like a YouTube channel or news sites as this is just a fun hobby of mine, thank you for as many or as little of people read my stuff, as long as someone enjoyed reading my content and took time out of their day to do so, so I’m happy regardless. That being said, leave a comment and tell me your thoughts and personal ranking of the Hellraiser franchise, do you agree with our rankings? or is yours very different? I’d love to see it. Finally, I’ll send you off with the great Hellraiser music video by the legendary Motörhead.🤘